emotional dumpsite

what have i been doing lately? sleep, cook, eat, surf the net, watch tv, sleep, cook, eat, watch tv, surf the net, sleep, cook, eat, surf the net, watch tv, sleep, cook… you get the picture.

ive been wasting my life away. mental exercise has been non existent for the past week. im gaining weight (which is probably the only good thing i’ve achieved with this routine).and what’s worst, im rusty. hard rough metal rusty with all the clinkety clink of cold metal.  i cant think creatively, i cant think beyond what’s there for lunch, i cant force myself away from spacing off during review class. i feel pretty productive right now actually. not.

must be the effect of post graduation hurrahs. thinking that you now have time all the time in the world at the palm of your hands, and having the option to spend them little by little or all at once. apparently, i chose the latter. regrets? only a few. i’ve been having a blast lounging in front of the television and swimming in my bed all morning. ah. the luxury of time.nyaha.

but i do realize that i have to wake up and eventually live in the reality. responsibilites, priorities, bills to pay, clothes to wash, sucking up to your employer to get that promotion… they’re all waiting for me. clamoring.excitedly whispering my name over and over in an orgasmic chant. (forgive my language. i guess this is what cheeky meant by me becoming mature in my writings.haha.)these voices, they’re like the cast of a play. and im the lead player. somehow, we are all connected in a series of uneventful happenings with only one goal in mind. to reach a spectacular climax, the grand finale of my life. so that when the curtain call comes, i will be able to bow proudly to the audience for having delivered an outstanding job at playing the role of being myself. maybe i’ll even get and award for that. post humous Oscar of course. maybe like Heath Ledger if he’d win next year.(why do you always have to be dead to find out if you’re any good?).

im getting rusty again.